


Doing What You Have To Doesn't Make It Right

by Harrishawksuperiour



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Assassination Attempt(s), Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dreams and Nightmares, Eloping, Engagement Ball, Execution, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Forbidden Love, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Jedi, Jedi Ben, Jedi Training, Kylo Ren Backstory, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lies, Major Original Character(s), Post-Battle of Starkiller Base, Princess - Freeform, Queen - Freeform, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Truth, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5833336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harrishawksuperiour/pseuds/Harrishawksuperiour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To complete his training, Kylo Ren must destroy what drove him to the Dark Side to fully belong to it. Meanwhile, Queen Zeta, the last of the Republic leaders, has no idea that her childhood sweetheart will be paying her a visit. She will be his most challenging adversary yet. Will he keep his course and do what he has to? Or will she reduce him to be what he used to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ben poked his way through the trees, carefully this time. He didn't want to get attacked by the cat again. He wasn't missing much back at the camp. Just levitation. His uncle had been teaching him that since before he could talk. He didn't need the impatience of watching the others try and fail to master it. Why not make use of this time and see some more of his surroundings? What else could Luke Skywalker expect of an eight year old?

 

"What are you doing here?" A little voice caught him off guard. Ben nearly fell over trying to locate the voice, realizing he'd been caught. He needn't have been so concerned. The voice that questioned him came from a little girl, not much younger than him.

 

"Exploring!" Ben answered, shaking a vine off his foot and ruffling his hair free of leaves.

 

"Oh." The girl responded with a tilt of her head and taking a few cautious steps towards him so they could see each other better. Ben's hair was black and shaggy, his skin was sallow and his eyes a deep brown. This girl was almost his opposite with her soft grey eyes, curious and innocent like a new-born doe. Her skin was pale, almost deathly so which contrasted strikingly with her chocolate brown ringlets. "Are you from the Jedi camp?"

 

"I am." He responded, puffing out his chest with importance. "My uncle is Luke Skywalker."

 

"My father likes him. He says he's a good man."

 

"Who's your father?"

 

"King Versin. I'm a princess, you see." Ben looked at her with doubt, the mud and grass stains on her dress didn't exactly back up her claim. "Sure. You're a princess and I'm a Wookie."

 

"A what?"

 

"A Wookie? Big tall hairy thing? Sounds like...." Ben did his best impression but it just sounded like gurgling.

 

"Yes well, I'm a princess. You know you're in the royal gardens, don't you?" Dusk was starting to fall and Ben had spent most of his time fighting his way through bushes and shrubs, he didn't realize he had burrowed his way into the bottom of the royal gardens.

 

"Am I? I guess I know where to come next time. Got any food?"

 

"No, come earlier next time and I'll keep something for you." A call came from across the grounds that made the princess sigh. "I have to go. I have to have a bath."

 

"You didn't tell me your name." Ben pointed out before the girl left.

 

"I didn't, did I? I'm Princess Zeta." She gave a cute little curtsy of her dirty dress. "And you are?"

 

"Ben. Ben Solo." They met every day after that.

 

Two days before Zeta's sixteenth birthday, Ben waited below the balcony of the princess' bedroom. Night was crawling closer, the time they always met. In those eight years, neither of them had really changed. Just matured. When Zeta started to climb down, Ben moved into position to catch her when she stumbled. Which she would. She always did. She did this time and he teased her for it like he always did. They walked to the lake, hand in hand and sat in their usual spot overlooking the dark, glittering waters.

 

Cuddled close together and listening to each other’s heartbeats, Zeta took a napkin from her cloak and handed it over to Ben who took it with a chuckle.

 

"Every day for how many years?"

 

"Oh I don't know. Eight?"

 

"Sounds about right." The male answered with a mouthful of apple then leaned down.

 

"Eww no! Swallow the apple THEN you can kiss me!" He did as he was told. Then he kissed her. Slow, gentle and sweet. As always.

 

"I missed you."

 

"You saw me this morning, you Wookie."

 

"It's not the same when I can't hold you and kiss you."

 

"Shut up and kiss me then."

 

This was forbidden. All of it. A princess of the Republic and a Jedi. Somehow it was familiar.

 

"It's your birthday soon." He observed quietly, barely breaking his lips from hers.

 

"And?"

 

"What do I get a princess for her birthday?"

 

"I have everything I want. Right here and right now. Just make sure you come and see me that night."

 

"Wouldn't miss it." The next kiss was longing but tender until something made her stop. "What...?"

 

"Shh..."

 

"What's...?"

 

"Shhh! Listen!" She broke away and stood. Torches were lit across the grounds, people were shouting her name, dogs were barking. Someone must have gone into her room to find her gone. Ben was on his feet, standing behind her with a hand on her waist. "You have to go." She told him, turning with an urgency he'd never seen in her. "If they see you, they'll arrest you. Go!"

 

On the morning trek, Zeta wasn't on her balcony like she always was. In fact, the doors were closed and the curtains were still drawn across. Maybe she was ill? She seemed fine until her father sent men looking for her. Ben spent his lessons distracted and out of touch. Not the best state of mind to be in when practicing with a lightsaber.

 

His uncle noticed and commented on it. Come nightfall, Ben approached the balcony with more care than before. She wasn't there. He poked around on the ground for some pebbles and thanked whoever was watching over him when he found some.

 

The little pings on the glass brought his princess to him.

 

"How did you get in here?! He has guards everywhere!" Ben didn't answer. He was too busy scaling the balcony while Zeta kept watch.

 

"I'm getting good at this Jedi thing."

 

"I should think so, Ben. You've been at it for eight years and more." She replied with a flustered sigh when he was safely on the balcony.

 

"Zeta." The closer he got, the more he noticed. Her eyes were red, her bottom lip was chewed and her cheeks were stained. "What happened? What's wrong?" In an instant, she had buried her face in his chest while heavy, silent sobs wracked her tiny form. Ben enveloped her in his arms and cradled her, kissing her head at random intervals until she broke away and paced the balcony, leaving him thoroughly confused.

 

"This has to stop." Zeta wept, putting a hand on the stone barrier to steady herself but Ben pulled her to him again and she didn't stop him.

 

"What does?"

 

"Us. This. All of it." Ben held her as if her words hadn't quite sunk in.

 

"Why?" She could barely get the dreadful words out.

 

"I'm engaged." They hung in the air for a few moments while both the teenagers processed them.

 

"No." Ben broke the silence with determination and cupped the princess' face to make her look at him. "We'll run away. We'll get on a ship somehow. There has to be someone my dad hasn't pissed off.... We'll lie low at an outpost for a while... My mother will work her diplomatic magic and we'll be free. I don't want to be a Jedi anymore."

 

"Ben, I'd give my life and my soul for that." Her voice was strained by tears. "But I can't. I begged my father. I pleaded with him. He won't budge. The Republic is demanding alliances and I'm the only suitable one. It's being announced tomorrow."

 

"Zeta." Ben tried to drive home the point again. "We'll leave tonight. Right now. Get what you need and we'll go."

 

"And what happens when they track you down for abducting a princess?" She whimpered with a shake of her head. "They'll execute you. It doesn't matter who your family are or what diplomatic magic your mother can work. You need to go. He's going to send someone to check on me soon." Ben took one last kiss and left. Zeta spent her night and several after it weeping uncontrollably about a marriage she didn't want. She wanted Ben. If they had left together, he wouldn't have been driven into the arms of something that would change him forever. 

 

 

Fourteen years later: Kylo Ren had lain in the snow for some time before the small medical team found him at General Hux's orders. Between the severe cold, the cracking planet and his injuries, it was almost too late. He was brought to Supreme Leader Snoke by Hux where the last of his training would be outlined. Still weak from the battle, Ren stood unsteadily before his master, scarred and broken but dedicated to what would complete him.

 

"You did well." Snoke drawled from above. "You did what most of the Knights of Ren could not. Every day the light in you lessens. With Han Solo gone, the Dark Side will consume you. Now, all you must do is find what brought you to me and destroy it."

 

The night was dark, the air was cold and the snow crunched under her feet. She had left her guards behind her, just needing to be by herself. A young woman in her late twenties, very early thirties powered through the trees, not going anywhere in particular but moved with purpose. Dark locks tumbled down over her back and over her shoulders though hidden from view. A pair of soft but alert grey eyes took in her surroundings as she walked and to look at her, one would know she was important. The cloak she wore couldn't have belonged to anyone but royalty with its rich, deep purple fabric and its fur trimmed hood which kept her both warm and hidden.

 

Leaves rustled nearby which caused her to slow to a stop. Her hood was drawn down by two pale hands as she looked around with curiosity but saw no one. The cold pierced her striking facial features but she brushed it aside. Maybe she imagined it or maybe it was a forest dwelling creature. Either way, the prickling feeling of being watched was too strong to ignore only she hadn't noticed it until now. The woman's breath fogged in front of her until she turned on her heel and continued on her way, pulling her hood back up as she went. She should have turned back. Returned to the safety of the palace but whatever stalked her was between her and home.

 

The feeling intensified until a branch snapped, causing her to whip around, her hood falling back as she did so. Her pulse was hammering, causing tiny shockwaves in the air. She was petrified. Footsteps. Boots stealthily cutting through the snow. It wasn't a forest beast. The low, brief drone of a lightsaber igniting caught the female's ears so she turned and ran. The snow helped to muffle her footsteps but it also hid obstacles. A snake like root risen from the ground blocked her right foot and sent her tumbling into the snow with a brief scream.

 

She tasted blood as the crimson liquid started to dribble from her lip and down onto the white. She tried to get up, but cried out under the pain of a sprained ankle and collapsed again. Her pursuer was closing in. Through the trees a red light approached her, wielded by a masked, black shrouded figure. Out of the cover of the wood, it emerged and stood over her with the strangest, most sinister looking lightsaber she had ever seen. A red cross guard. It looked angry, volatile. The woman on the ground looked to the mask, helpless and terrified but couldn't speak. Instead, she tried in vain to drag herself away but the masked figure followed her without difficulty.

 

He watched her for a few seconds more, that face he knew so well then swung back the saber. With a roar, he swung it back down towards her but he didn't see if it connected. Kylo Ren woke screaming, shirtless and maskless. He scrambled up in his bed, bashing the back of his head of the wall until he relented, shaking and sweating and the horrible image of his lightsaber being raised to her was gone. He got up and paced his quarters, running a hand through his hair until he was calm. It was a dream. Just a dream.

 

 

"We will not bow to the demands of the First Order!" The tiny projection on the desk barked passionately to an invisible but audible crowd. She would pause every now and then to let her message sink in. "We will not be bullied or intimidated by cowards! The ones who took your prince from you! We will stand with the Republic and the Resistance as he would have wanted and we will NOT BE DEFEATED!!!" The projection died away with roars of support for the umpteenth time that night. That projection was only from a few days ago, before most of the Republic had been destroyed.

 

She was a queen now. Every inch of one. Strong, capable, loved by her people. Even more so when she handed down an execution order for her uncle for his sympathy and involvement in the First Order. He played the projection again. Kylo Ren rubbed the scarring cut on the side of his face; it was beginning to become a nervous habit. The door opened as he watched it again dolefully, he didn't bother to try and hide it. General Hux watched the rest of it and waited for it to die away.

 

"What are you doing with that?"

 

"Better to know what we're dealing with." Ren answered quietly, shifting his body weight to make getting up easier. With a groan, his back clicked and his hand went back to the cut.

 

"Where did you get it?"

 

"Does it matter?!" He snapped suddenly, supporting himself on the desk.

 

"No, it doesn't. And she will show us no mercy." Hux replied dismissively. "We land in ten minutes. We've secured a strip by the palace. They think we're a refueling star fleet."

 

"She's not a fool." Ren sighed, rubbing the cut and looking down to where the projection should have been.

 

"This should have waited until you were stronger. She's not an easy adversary at the best of times, let alone when you're like this."

 

"Supreme Leader Snoke has spoken. He said it needs to be now."

 

"What's our play, Your Majesty?" General Abden asked with concern when the transmission from a 'star fleet' came through.

 

"Disable the Storm Troopers. There probably won't be many of them. The Resistance wants Kylo Ren and General Hux. I'll keep them talking until they get here." Queen Zeta answered, knowing they had plenty to answer for. "Let's hand them over alive if we can."

 

"I just don't understand why they're coming here."

 

"We're the last of the Republic. Kylo Ren is probably going to try and kill me. Eliminate the last of the opponents to the First Order."

 

"Then you can't be left alone."

 

"I'll be fine, George. He's still weak." Upon contacting the Resistance, General Organa received the news with uncertainty and Zeta couldn't think why. She was promised the best pilots and bravest soldiers as soon as possible but there was something else. Something else Organa wouldn't tell her. Leia couldn't tell her. It would break the queen if she knew.

 

"Touching down." One of her advisers told her quietly from over her shoulder.

 

"Thank you." Her reflection in the vanity table mirror stared back at her encouragingly so she made sure there were no stray hairs, smoothed her dress then went to the balcony to see them disembark. "Funny looking star fleet." She breathed to herself sarcastically then turned to go back inside but she was being watched. One last stop in front of the mirror. If she was going to die today, she was going to leave a beautiful corpse. Out her bedroom door and onto the corridor that overlooked the entrance hall.

 

"Kylo Ren!" She announced her presence as if greeting an old friend from the banister. Every head turned including the black masked one. There she was. As staggering as she was the night she made him leave the balcony and as commanding and authoritative as in the projection. The new mask was essential. His bare face would have betrayed emotions that he couldn't stand to contemplate. Zeta was strangely unafraid. Like she did this every day.

 

"Now, I was just up on my balcony and I have to say, that's the strangest looking star fleet I've ever seen." She started to descend the stairs with a curious frown that echoed sarcasm. "But why would you lie to an official landing strip coordinator? Especially when the planet is of the Republic?" She stopped on the stairs and Hux shifted uncomfortably.

 

"You're here for one of two things. You're either here for help or to prove a point to the Resistance. Now which is it?"

 

"We're here to end the last of the opposition to the-"

 

"General, hush." Zeta cut him off cleanly and lightly, now at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't think you're going to be doing anything to me today so hold your tongue or I will have it out. I would tell you to ask my uncle but his lack of a head might make it difficult." Hux was right. She was brutal. She got closer to her intruders while her own General watched her warily.

 

"Kylo Ren." It was spoken softly and viciously and it stirred something within him. To hear her say his new name was almost painful. The way she looked at him was worse. A mixture of mockery and hatred. "The puppet of the illusive Leader Snoke." She sneered as she turned away from him and sauntered the hall; her voice carrying off the stone walls, floor and ceiling; mostly announcing him to her own soldiers. "The coward behind the Jakku Massacre and the destruction of Maz's. Countless lives lost. All on your shoulders."

 

"Zeta." He couldn't stop himself. The mask distorted his voice but she whipped round to stare him down regardless.

 

"Heed this." She told him coldly, taking a few dominant steps towards him and staring down where she assumed his eyes were. "I don't care why you came here. I don't care who you are under that mask. But you are in my home, on my planet and you will address me by my proper title. Do you understand? Am I clear?" He didn't answer. She waited for a moment and got nothing so she turned away again.

 

"Strip the Stormtroopers of any weapons. Take them downstairs. The same with General Hux." Ren's second looked at him as he was grabbed by General Abden.

 

"Why aren't you doing anything?!" She had something else in store for him and he knew it. Hux (who didn't go quietly) and the handful of Stormtroopers were escorted out until it was just them.

 

"You're not afraid." He observed in the distorted voice, feeling her pulse in the air.

 

"If you were going to kill me, you'd have done it by now." She responded coolly with an air of disregard and confidence. "It's just us now. Your troops are gone, so are mine. An even playing field. Come with me."

 

She led him out of the hall and into a room lit by various torches and fireplaces. The heat engulfed him and he relished it. The queen ascended a number of steps to a high chair carved of ebony.

 

"General Organa seems to think that you can be redeemed." She began conversationally once she was settled and looked down upon her guest. "Why might she think that?" Kylo Ren didn't answer.

 

"She thinks there is still some light left in you. Is she right?" Again, no answer. "You're not helping your case with silence." Zeta pointed out patiently. "You and your General are the only ones the Resistance is truly interested in getting alive. General Organa is likely going to ask me to sign off on a pardon as I'm the last of the leaders of the Republic. It remains to be seen why. But before I do that, I need to know I'm not making a mistake." When he did reply, it wasn't what she expected.

 

"Where is your husband?" Caught off guard, Zeta took him in but didn't bother to hide her confusion.

 

 "So you're not up to date on my title or my marital status? I'm surprised. I thought the First Order would make it their business to know everything about me." He waited.

 

"My husband was killed four years ago. Courtesy of the First Order."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that."

 

" **Don't patronize me!** " Zeta snapped suddenly at the male below her and he fought to keep himself in check at her swift turn. "You probably gave that order too!"

 

"Did you love him?"

 

"I don't see how that's any of your business."

 

"Indulge me." She needed to keep him talking so she gave in.

 

"I didn't. He was a good, kind man. He was my friend but I loved and lost a long time ago. He understood that. He died with the Resistance and he would have been proud of it."

 

"He sounds like a fool. Fighting for the Resistance, allowing his wife to love another." Zeta's face hardened as he goaded her to her feet.

 

"I didn't love him but I won't let you disrespect him. In fact, if you're going to speak like a man, why don't you remove that helmet and face me like one?"


	2. The Lies That Killed Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeta suffers the fallout of lies told a long time ago.

Hesitation. But she waited regardless. Kylo Ren submitted and lifted his gloved hands to his mask. He clicked back the small metal clasps of the voice distorter and slowly pulled the helmet away from his head. It was new but followed the same design as the old one that had been lost on Starkiller.

 

Already on her feet, she watched with a dreading curiosity but nothing could prepare her for what or rather who she was about to see. When Zeta's eyes found the face she hadn't seen in nearly fifteen years, the breath caught in the queen's throat. With the helmet clutched to his side, the one she knew as Kylo Ren looked back at her with a different face. Tired, scarred and pained but one she knew all too well.

 

" _No._ " Zeta breathed with an anguished shake of her head and her eyes welling up. All those agonizing memories started to resurface. She remembered meeting her fiancé for the first time and being unable to look at him. She remembered getting up from the negotiation table and walking out without a word, despite her father’s flustered calls. She had kept a flower Ben had put in her hair one day and cradled it on her bed, waiting to wake up from this terrible nightmare.

 

Waiting for Ben to be below her balcony and they could go and be happy somewhere, anywhere, even if it was only for a little while. But he didn’t come. He never came again. Until now. Leon, her intended, had been understanding. He had known this was coming for a while and so kept his distance from love. He was older than her. He was twenty two while she was only sixteen. He wasn’t the most handsome man but he had a kind heart which led her to be fond of him eventually. But she would have done anything to have her Ben back. 

 

_The night of her engagement ball took place only a few weeks after the Jedi Camp Massacre. This event was to serve two purposes. To formally celebrate the engagement and to show to the perpetrators of the massacre that they would not be intimidated. Zeta looked over the banister at the laughing and smiling faces with mild disgust. How dare they; all these diplomats, dukes, duchesses, counts, countesses, senators of the Republic; take such pleasure in her misery. The music, the food, the wine, the dresses (especially her own), the polite laughter and chatter didn’t appeal to her. It infuriated her if anything. Then something, or rather someone, caught her eye. Yes, it was definitely her._

 

_“General Organa.” The princess approached the older woman from behind who stopped her conversation with a group of senators to address the young princess with mild surprise._

 

_“Princess? My, you’re-“_

 

_“May I speak to you please? In private? It’s rather urgent.” Leia Organa allowed herself to be led away to the room where, years later, Zeta would bring Kylo Ren._

 

_“I know this was sprung on you.” The General observed with a note of sympathy, watching as the younger woman paced anxiously and ruffled her curls. She saw a lot of Ben in the General. Not any major features but even the way she stood reminded her of him. “But you’ll be doing a lot of good for a lot of people.”_

 

_“I didn’t come here to talk about that.” Zeta spoke up, mid ruffle and leaving a pale hand embedded in her hair. “Before I say anything, I need the guarantee of your confidence and your understanding though I know it affects you too. I need to speak plainly; princess to princess…. Or former princess, whatever you prefer.” Leia regarded the girl with curiosity then gave a brief nod. She wasn’t sure where this was going but if this woman, a hope for the Republic, needed her, she would be there._

 

_“You have my word. Princess to princess.”_

_Zeta’s hand dropped from her hair and crossed it over her chest to rub her upper arm as she spoke, something of a calming mechanism that didn’t go unnoticed._

 

_“General, I…” She had to get this out. The screams heard in certain parts of the palace that night were haunting her. She had to know. “I need to know that Ben is alright.” Leia certainly hadn’t been expecting that. There was something in her eyes that betrayed she too had lost someone that night._

 

_“How do you-“_

 

_“We…. We were friends.”_

 

_“I think you were a bit more than that.” General Organa was starting to put things together now and it all made sense. Luke had told her about Ben’s wonderings. He told her that he would come back from wherever he had been, delirious. He told her about the daydreaming. And then suddenly, it all changed. The camp had been peaceful and Ben ravaged it before the others could defend themselves. All coinciding with the announcement of Zeta’s engagement._

 

_“As we’re being honest, yes, we were.” Zeta was starting to crumble as her bottom lip began to tremble. “He came to me the night before the announcement…. He begged me to go away with him…. He said you’d help us but…. I was afraid of what they’d do to him if they caught us….”_

 

_I_ _nstinctively, General Organa strode forward and gathered the future queen into her arms. As Leia listened to the distraught little sniffles, she knew she couldn’t tell her the truth. She was clearly overcome with regret, if she even suspected that Ben was alive, she might do something rash._

 

_“Ben died at the camp, sweetheart.” The General forced out the lie, feeling Zeta descend into truly heartbroken sobs. “I know….” She whispered, rubbing her back and feeling her own eyes stinging._ _“I know….” So much could have been avoided that night._

 

Zeta’s feet started to take involuntary steps down from her chair and he moved, ready to catch her if she stumbled. She seemed to have mastered it since he last saw her.

 

" _It's not possible._ " The queen whispered with tears flowing freely, having stopped four steps from the bottom where he waited. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to wipe her eyes and tell her everything was alright. But in truth, she held his fate in her hands. She always had. Zeta carefully made her way down the final steps until she was face to face with the man she had mourned for long ago.

 

"Ben?" A pale hand reached up to cradle the scarred side of his face and he leaned into it. "Is it really you?" The look of meaning in his eyes told her what she needed to know. All those years of suffering, especially hearing from the General herself that her son was dead, were for nothing. Zeta gently stroked the side of her childhood sweetheart's face with her thumb but then reality set in and she stopped. Ben's eyes shaded with dread as she stepped back. "The Jedi School. Tell me that wasn't you." He couldn't lie to her. She wouldn't know but he couldn't do it.

 

"It was me." He confirmed quietly, repressing the images from that fateful night and the screams of his classmates as he cut down each one. The queen's eyes closed momentarily as she turned away and walked a few aimless steps.

 

"Why?" Ben wasn't confident in his answer but decided to give it anyway.

 

"You." Zeta's eyes opened and lifted despairingly to the ceiling.

 

"Me." She uttered with another shake of her head.

 

"I couldn't take it, not being with you." Ben found his voice. He hadn't expected to be revealing this. "I couldn't just go back to that camp and keep training while you married someone else. I couldn't stand by and watch you be miserable for the sake of an alliance!"

 

"So you killed the last hopes we had at bringing balance to the Force?!" Ben tensed. His body language started to radiate fury. He didn't want to hurt her but she had already begun to delve into his past so he strode away from her.

 

"I found my master! He saw everything within me! He saw my pain! He saw my pull to the Dark side!" Ben was turned back and fixated on her, nostrils flared and chest starting to heave like a predator about to pounce. Previous injuries protested him to calm but he ignored the niggling pains in various parts of his body. "He saw my potential and he offered me the chance to become more than I was! An ordinary Jedi!"

 

Like a caged animal, Ben's shoulders were held back in an enraged posture as his boots pounded off the floor, his stride continued but his eyes remained on her as if to drive home a brutal point.

 

"He told me to eliminate them and I did! I became a master of the Knights of Ren! All because of you! You were the light that turned me to the Dark! It's all your fault!" Ben was known for destroying things in a temper. He was renowned for it among the Storm Troopers and everyone else on board the Star Killer and Finalizer. But she just stood there and waited patiently for it to pass. The queen watched him with unmistakable pity. He truly believed all that.

 

"I remember that night on the balcony." She began quietly, as if his outburst hadn't just happened. "When you asked me to run away with you. If I had, would this all be different? Would we still have Jedi? Would the First Order be what it is? I think you're placing too much responsibility on yourself, Ben. If you had not opened yourself to Snoke, someone else would have. He craved a strong apprentice which happened to be you. You'll destroy yourself if you let this continue." She was right. But he was in too deep now. He had one more step before his training was complete.

 

"Why did you come here?" Zeta asked, dragging him from his train of thought. "You know where the Resistance base is, what do you want from us?" Ben considered his predicament. She wasn't afraid of him. He felt it when he saw her on the balcony and when she approached him afterwards before she learned his identity. It would be so much easier if she hated him but she didn't feel that either. He took a step towards her and felt his lightsaber bounce off his hip, as thought reminding him; nagging him.

 

"I came here with the intention of killing you." He answered weakly, and feeling sick just saying it. She'd expected that. From Kylo Ren at least.

 

"And here I stand, living and breathing. You're going to have to try something else, Ben."

 

"I can't do it. I won't."

 

"I know you won't. Ben, listen to me." She approached him again and laid a hand affectionately on his black clad chest.

 

"I'm going to help you."

 

"How?" But they were interrupted by General Abden.

 

"Your Majesty. The Resistance have just touched down."


	3. Making Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeta challenges General Organa about the lies told all those years ago. Ben realizes how her hands were tied by his own mother. Final chapter.

 

Ben watched the queen with betrayal in his expression.

 

"You're going to help me? By handing me over to the Resistance?"

 

"Majesty?" General Abden questioned uneasily at the sight of the unmasked Kylo Ren.

 

"It's alright, George. Hand over the Stormtroopers and General Hux. Request that I speak to General Organa in here. Alone."

 

"And him, Majesty?" She didn't give him an explanation like she normally did. He trusted her though. He'd watched over her as a young officer as she grew, made excuses for her whenever she slipped past him but somehow she really knew how to land herself in trouble. He'd developed a bond with the princess so her father made him head of her guard. Someone she could trust. Had she forgotten who she was dealing with? This was _Kylo Ren_. Ben looked from the General to Zeta. She was going to hand him over.

 

"I gave you an order, General." General Abden looked Ben over suspiciously before grudgingly retreating.

 

"Is he in love with you too?" Ben asked testily, watching George go.

 

"They all are around here." Zeta sighed deeply, pacing aimlessly once more. "Back to the predicament at hand." As much as it broke Zeta's heart to think of everything Ben had done since she last saw him, she had to remember there must have still been a pull to the light in him. Otherwise she would be long dead. She would bring that light back. "The General is coming." She informed him needlessly, taking a few hesitant steps towards him and locking her eyes with his. He needed to know she was serious. It didn't get much more serious than this but she didn't know what he'd face if he chose unwisely. "You have a choice. You go with her or... Stay here with me." Relief flooded Ben and the loving smile she'd known long ago crept across his scarred features.

 

"Do you mean that?" Ben asked quietly, closing the distance between him and the queen.

 

"Of course. I lost you once; I don't want to do it again." She replied, her voice just as quiet as his. He gave his answer when he pushed his lips to hers and kissed her just as he used to. Zeta pulled back after a few seconds. "I want my Ben back. Now hide. I'll deal with this."

 

Zeta had retaken her throne by the time the General was shown in.

 

"General Organa." The queen greeted her coldly which directed the former princess' gaze to the steps and the chair.

 

"Your Majesty." She replied uncertainly with a small bow.

 

"I didn't..."

 

"I'm disappointed, General." Confused silence.

 

"I don't understand, your Majesty."

 

"You lied to me all those years ago. You told me at my engagement ball that Ben was dead. And earlier today, you continued to let me believe that. My men were given shoot to kill orders if necessary when you asked me to hand over Kylo Ren. _**Did you think I wouldn't find out?!**_ " Ben listened from his hiding place. Zeta had been lied to? By his mother, no less?

 

"We needed you!" General Organa protested. "There needed to be peace and trust in the Republic! You were the only one who could do that!" Leia tried to reason but the young queen was determined. Zeta got to her feet and descended a few of the steps.

 

"You knew how I felt. I confided in you that night. I trusted you as his mother and a former princess."

 

"What would you have done, Zeta?" The older woman asked as the younger one continued down the steps.

 

"If I had told you the truth that night, what would you have done?"

 

"I would have looked for him!" The queen answered almost instantly. "I would have left everything set out for me by everyone else and looked for him! I would have left it all to prevent all of this from happening! Engagement and Republic be damned! He needed to be found and loved and understood! Not abandoned!"

 

Ben listened to the exchange between his mother and his childhood sweetheart. It was almost as if the Republic viewed Zeta as a mere pawn of peace, not as someone who could have prevented this in the first place. Granted, he was only part of the First Order but their rise would have been a lot slower without him and his power to drive it. She had been on his side. She would have fought for him if she knew the truth. He had never loved her more than he did just then.

 

"Think about it, General. If someone had helped him, knew the truth and went after him, there would be no Kylo Ren! The First Order would only have a fraction of its power! You would still have your son! Putting me in that position prevented me from helping him! By selling me off, the Republic made the situation worse!"

 

"Your relationship was secret and forbidden." The General countered though she understood that very situation exceptionally well. To be in love with someone of a lower birth. "You were a princess of the Republic. He was a Jedi."

 

"I loved him. With every beat of my heart and every breath I drew, I still do! I will do whatever it takes to get my Ben back."

 

"Where is he?" Leia asked carefully, knowing her son would be near.

 

"He is here but he will not be leaving with you. I have decided that I'm not going to hand over Kylo Ren nor am I going to sign that pardon." Ben's heart hammered.

 

"You're playing with fire, Zeta! There's too much darkness-!"

 

"I will hand over the Stormtroopers and General Hux as agreed but as far as we're concerned, Kylo Ren was killed shortly after disembarking his vessel when he was fired upon." General Organa looked to the queen, her mouth pressed into a thin line of pity but also gratitude and understanding. Maybe there was hope for Ben after all. She knew what it felt like to love like that.

 

"If you need me or he does; you know where I am. I miss him, despite what he's done. I just want him to know that."

 

"Thank you, General. We'll be in touch."

 

With the General gone, Ben emerged from his hiding place.

 

"I just mouthed off to one of the most powerful people in the galaxy." Zeta cringed as Ben gathered her up into his arms. That feeling of safety and security was one she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

 

"You did it for love. And I love you too." He sealed it with a kiss then pressed his forehead against hers. It was like nothing had changed. Like nearly fifteen years hadn't passed. Like they hadn't fought on opposite sides since this war began. "I missed you."

 

"I missed you too, you big Wookie." Ben instantly felt lighter. Not only did he feel that he could become at peace with what he had done but it seemed the light inside him was fighting back against the dark. She was his balance. The light to his dark. Already, he could feel Snoke's grip loosen on him.

 

"The scar kinda suits you." She remarked sweetly, brushing it gently with her fingertips. This was the first time he'd actually felt endeared by the mark on his face. What had once been a symbol of weakness and defeat was now an opportunity to move forward and start making amends. Starting with Zeta.

 

"I'm glad you like it." He replied with that flirty smile he always kept just for her. "It's permanent."

 

"It might fade." She answered with a shrug. "Doesn't really matter. Anyway, we better get you changed out of those robes before someone sees you."

 

"Earlier today, we witnessed a great triumph for the Resistance, the memory of the Republic and the galaxy as a whole." The queen spoke loud and clear to an invisible crowd but also into the projector that transported her image to the Resistance base. "A number of Stormtroopers and General Hux of the First Order were handed over to General Organa of the Resistance to be punished as she sees fit." More applause. "The war criminal Kylo Ren, we can confirm, was killed by General Abden and his men shortly upon arrival." Cheers greeted her statement but the rebel base was strangely quiet even though the room was full.

 

"I thought you said we could trust her." Poe directed his concern to the General who was still watching the queen.

 

"We can. With any luck, she'll be able to do what none of us could do. Han included."

 

"I'm not okay comfortable with this." Poe spoke up again but more to the irritation of General Organa. "What about everything he's done?! You're gonna leave him shacked up with a queen?! A queen, of all people?!"

 

"She knows the risks, Poe. She knows him of old, just like you do."

 

"He didn't torture her. Are you gonna wait for that to happen? What about when Snoke figures out that Ben is starting to turn back?"

 

"That's the first time you've said his name." Organa observed dryly, watching as Zeta waved to the crowd. The projection died away as she went back inside.

 

"She's the last of the Republic and you're gonna leave him with her?!"

 

"Are you jealous, Poe?" Leia rounded on him, tired of him doubting her judgement. "I know you had a soft spot for her at the Jedi memorial but this is a bit much. If you have such a problem with this, go and talk to Zeta yourself. I can guarantee your reception will be far more hostile."

 

Ben waited for Zeta to come in off the balcony, aware he was being watched by a number of her guards. The queen stepped back inside and without hesitation, took the hand of the person she should never have let go of fifteen years ago.

 

"Come on. We have a lot of catching up to do." As they walked, he looked upon her with an admiration that came with the realization of everything she'd been through. Not just losing him and being pushed into a marriage she didn't want but holding her queendom together in the shadow of the First Order and near annihilation.

 

"I can't believe you just did that."

 

"Did what?"

 

"Lied to them. All of them."

 

"Kylo Ren is dead. Ben Solo is alive and kicking. Just the way I like him." They walked some more, not going anywhere in particular but together. "I need you to promise me something." Zeta diverted their course to the wall which she leaned against and pulled Ben with her.

 

"Anything." He replied loyally, placing his forehead tenderly against hers.

 

"I need you to tell me if you ever feel a pull to the dark side again…. I'm not saying you will!" She added quickly before he could respond. "But if you do. I need you to tell me so that we can figure it out. I don't think I'd be able to protect you a second time, Ben." It was a reasonable request. Especially if relapsing meant jeopardizing what he had now.

 

"I promise." His lips found hers again and she happily returned the affection. "It's strange…. Kissing you and not having to worry about being seen doing it."

 

"I'm the queen now, Solo. I do what I want."

 

"That's comforting. I remember that list of decrees you had when we were ten-"

 

"Ben, no…."

 

"What was it? Something about eating only cake for at least one day a week?"

 

"Ben, stop."

 

"And only pink flowers in the garden?"

 

"Why did I say those things?"

 

"You were ten. Princesses didn't have to wear dresses all the time."

 

"That one was practical, to be fair…."

 

"And Jedi could get married."

 

"That one was out of my hands but if that's what they want…." Ben hesitated.

 

"So….?"

 

"What?"

 

"Are you going to make me say it?"

 

"Damn right I am. Spit it out, Solo." Ben rolled his eyes, she really hadn't changed. Still stubborn but a romantic at heart.

 

"Will you marry me, Zeta?"

 

"Romance isn't dead." She answered with a soft laugh and an amused shake of her head. Their lips met again. "Course I'll marry you. You big Wookie." 


End file.
